In a perfect world, cheesemaking would be allowed to remain as a pure art; unencumbered by economic restraints and beyond the influence of opportunism. Independent cheese production would lead to the rise of new, occasionally delicious, varieties of cheese and at the end of they day everyone would go home happy, at least everyone who really likes cheese. If you're not among that number, you may have come to this blog in error.
In reality, history holds loads of examples of cheese-copying. These range from the early European settlers of America innocently bringing with them their Cheddars and so forth to the French copying Dutch Edam and adding annatto to make Mimolette when the tariffs under Colbertism made its import prohibitively expensive. Fortunately for cheese lovers Mimolette is actually delightful, but this post is about a less inspiring example of cheese-plagiarism.
Go to your local deli, ask for a slice of "Swiss" cheese, and the stout yeoman behind the counter will shave from a log a piece of pale, tart, possibly even nutty cheese with a generous spread of holes throughout. While no one actually thinks that the cold cuts on their last 5 dollar footlong were painstakingly imported from Switzerland, many are understandably surprised to hear that what they think to be "Swiss" cheese and cheese that actually comes from Switzerland are two very different things. Still, although the spongy and one-dimensional Swiss-style cheeses are mere shadows of their proud high-alpine ancestors, these copies are massively popular.
No one knows that better than Professor Ole M. Ystgaard, the man who created Jarlsberg. A result of "research" on the cheeses popular in Norway circa 1950, the good professor created Jarlsberg by mating his findings with the streamlined production techniques afforded by modern technology. The company's website boldly claims that, on the fateful day that the first wheel came off the production line, "a new cheese category was established". Rubbish.
Origin: Norway
Milk: Cow, pasteurized
Rennet: Animal
Affinage: One year
Notes: Spends its days dulling people's tastebuds, its nights plotting how to bully small-production cheeses off of supermarket shelves, and secretly dreams about one day traveling to Switzerland to find its roots.
Thoughts: The astute reader will have already surmised that I am not impressed by this cheese, but really there are two ways to look at it. It is a cheese designed in a laboratory, based on pre-existing Swiss and Swiss-style cheeses, and intentionally created to appeal to the widest possible audience. In this regard it is hugely successful, as it sells worldwide like umbrellas in a rainstorm and has no doubt made Professor Ystgaard a very rich man. The trade-off here is that, just like Disney's never-ending string of cash-cow tweeny pop stars, Ystgaard has created a soulless monstrosity.
Flavor-related Thoughts: The texture is springy and waxy, the paste tart and only mildly nuttier than your average deli Swiss. Actually mild would be a compliment to this cheese, really the flavor is just forgettable. The pasteurization process leaves a harsh "scalded" flavor and, overall, Jarlsberg is no different if not worse than the slew of mild semi-firm snacking cheeses available on the market.When there are cheeses like yesterday's Tetilla available on the high end and decent generic young Goudas and Cheddars on the economy end, there just isn't a real reason to go for Jarlsberg. It presents itself as being at home on sandwich and cheese platter alike, but its one-dimensional flavor and unpleasant texture mean it doesn't get an invite to the cheese party. Also, do yourself a favor and treat the "Jarlsberg Lite" fat-reduced version like the Matrix sequels: pretend it doesn't exist.
Caution
As of today no one from France has read this blog. If you direct a Frenchman (Frenchwoman, Frenchperson) to this blog I would thank you, except they probably wouldn't like my Edam/Mimolette connection.
I don't want to be killed in a duel.
In reality, history holds loads of examples of cheese-copying. These range from the early European settlers of America innocently bringing with them their Cheddars and so forth to the French copying Dutch Edam and adding annatto to make Mimolette when the tariffs under Colbertism made its import prohibitively expensive. Fortunately for cheese lovers Mimolette is actually delightful, but this post is about a less inspiring example of cheese-plagiarism.
Go to your local deli, ask for a slice of "Swiss" cheese, and the stout yeoman behind the counter will shave from a log a piece of pale, tart, possibly even nutty cheese with a generous spread of holes throughout. While no one actually thinks that the cold cuts on their last 5 dollar footlong were painstakingly imported from Switzerland, many are understandably surprised to hear that what they think to be "Swiss" cheese and cheese that actually comes from Switzerland are two very different things. Still, although the spongy and one-dimensional Swiss-style cheeses are mere shadows of their proud high-alpine ancestors, these copies are massively popular.
No one knows that better than Professor Ole M. Ystgaard, the man who created Jarlsberg. A result of "research" on the cheeses popular in Norway circa 1950, the good professor created Jarlsberg by mating his findings with the streamlined production techniques afforded by modern technology. The company's website boldly claims that, on the fateful day that the first wheel came off the production line, "a new cheese category was established". Rubbish.
Milk: Cow, pasteurized
Rennet: Animal
Affinage: One year
Notes: Spends its days dulling people's tastebuds, its nights plotting how to bully small-production cheeses off of supermarket shelves, and secretly dreams about one day traveling to Switzerland to find its roots.
Thoughts: The astute reader will have already surmised that I am not impressed by this cheese, but really there are two ways to look at it. It is a cheese designed in a laboratory, based on pre-existing Swiss and Swiss-style cheeses, and intentionally created to appeal to the widest possible audience. In this regard it is hugely successful, as it sells worldwide like umbrellas in a rainstorm and has no doubt made Professor Ystgaard a very rich man. The trade-off here is that, just like Disney's never-ending string of cash-cow tweeny pop stars, Ystgaard has created a soulless monstrosity.
Flavor-related Thoughts: The texture is springy and waxy, the paste tart and only mildly nuttier than your average deli Swiss. Actually mild would be a compliment to this cheese, really the flavor is just forgettable. The pasteurization process leaves a harsh "scalded" flavor and, overall, Jarlsberg is no different if not worse than the slew of mild semi-firm snacking cheeses available on the market.When there are cheeses like yesterday's Tetilla available on the high end and decent generic young Goudas and Cheddars on the economy end, there just isn't a real reason to go for Jarlsberg. It presents itself as being at home on sandwich and cheese platter alike, but its one-dimensional flavor and unpleasant texture mean it doesn't get an invite to the cheese party. Also, do yourself a favor and treat the "Jarlsberg Lite" fat-reduced version like the Matrix sequels: pretend it doesn't exist.
Caution
As of today no one from France has read this blog. If you direct a Frenchman (Frenchwoman, Frenchperson) to this blog I would thank you, except they probably wouldn't like my Edam/Mimolette connection.
I don't want to be killed in a duel.
I actually like it! ok, it's not the best, creamiest, or whatever, but it's pretty good, like gasp, woodbridge wine at a party. i mean, it's ok.
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